I honestly had another post started with this exact same title, but it was so rambling and ridiculous that I’m probably just going to can the whole thing and start fresh.
I have a hard time believing that it is already December 30th. And that as of tomorrow I will have 7 months and 25 days until I turn 30. Apparently for some reason, I was thinking I still had another year to go on that one. Not that turning 30 is the end of the world, but at the same time I kind of figured I would be in a different place than I am right now. Not that where I am is a horrible place to be, because there are people who are far worse off than I am, but I can NOT sit here and say that I am 100% happy with my life (body, attitude, etc). There are the high points, but lately I’ve just been feeling kind of crappy. Like nothing I ever do is right, or good enough, or that I’m smart enough, pretty enough, blah, blah, blah.
I’ve been feeling quite picked on/nagged on lately, and it sucks. I’ve also been crazy tired. Not that I have any reason to be tired. I actually slept really great last night and wasn’t particularly tired when I woke up this morning. Maybe it’s a general overwhelmed feeling? I don’t know. I DO know that a great deal of my issues come from my own doing. I do know that I alone have the power to change those things. And that no one else can do them for me.
I did not set any real goals for myself in 2013, other than try to take better care of myself, which I’m pretty sure I failed miserably at. I don’t know if I will set any particular goals for 2014, although I certainly don’t want to be in this same spot almost 8 months from now. So I guess that is one thing I need to work on. Figuring out what makes me happy, getting the chance to live my own life, not feel so oppressed/repressed/stagnant. Maybe really, truly figure out how to let some shit go. Because I know that I’m holding on to a ton of crap from the past and I know that isn’t exactly the healthiest of things either. I’ve always said that I can forgive, but not really forget. Because I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.
All in all, I’m really ready for this year to be over with. It’s not been the nicest year to me, and I’m ready to move forward and on to better things. So if I don’t get around to posting anything tomorrow (which I promise I’m really going to try to do!), I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year!